Old times sake

I see the past when I look back…. I follow the present because I’m leading a future of charisma and strength. I’ve lost enough sleep slipping into past relations. When all along I’ve seen this. I know what is going on. I know what’s up pussy.

   I’m trying to figure out what honestly I’ve done wrong. I went in. I did my job. I did well in the end. The other person around me found me to be no longer beneficial I step down on my terms. Because this “team” wasn’t benefiting her anymore. well by dropping down. I  had a backhanded series of unfortunate events. Honestly is anyone sticking up for me or have my back…. No I laugh inside when I hear how much someone has my back. because end the end are they really willing to risk it all, put it there on the line to protect someone they might care about. Defiantly not.

I need to figure out a vacation, dude……….. Browsie I’m feeling a roadtrip to the unknown. Like money in our pockets and weekend of unknown. My brother was such a boss in how he carried himself, and I sometimes in my natural nature I retain his presence in myself. I miss him in such a positive more spiritual way than I ever have before. It’s like now I get sad if a I draw a blank, but If I remember something it makes me smile hopefully this good feeling doesn’t fade and those bad moments come up less and less. If I don’t do anything is there anyway to become catatonic.  Anytime I hear Jeezy, it’s like I hear my brothers spirit talking to me listen to wayy too gone. It just reminds me of his last night on this earth. there is this show on thats new its about people who were medically pronounced dead and came back and their story. One lady’s voice is vivid in my mind. Death is something we all fear yet it is something none of us should fear. Because she stated she enjoyed dying and hated coming back. bro think abotu that. .